NY Is Killing Me by Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie XX

Marrying The One.

It had been twice now that random woman have asked me for some relationship advice, knowing that I am married and assuming I have some sort of idea of what I am doing as an adult in a committed relationship.
When men ask me it's usually over a couple of beers, but I'm sure my thoughts and views are the same.
Anyhow, here are the answer I gave these woman. The fist one is now (6 months later) engaged to be married.

"What's your favorite part of coming home to your missus, and how do you guys keep it fresh etc?"

"Just having her there. I hate it when I get home and I can see she has been been home and left, if she is not there and if she goes out without me.
It's very important to give and have space in a relationship but she is my favorite person to be around.
I believe it's near impossible to keep an relationship "fresh."
The dynamics of relationships as people change. I can't imagine sitting around making out for hours the way I did when I was a teenager, and can't imagine anyone older than 25 really getting that right. 
If you are in a committed relationship with some one, you need to commit to the relationship not just the person.
I believe relationships fail because people change all the time, but if you and your partner works on the relationship you will have something to find comfort in, even if your partner is having an off patch or visa versa."

"When I said fresh, I meant not boring and stagnated."

That's going to happen the longer you are together, but you will also start learning new things about each other and that makes shit special.

This response was written while I was working and very much distracted. But my point came across.
A few days ago I was asked about marriage and choosing "the one."

"How do you get married and know that's the one? I genuinely don't get it?"

"You don't. You work at a promise to take care of each other and share the burden of having a heart.
They are such heavy things.
Choose a partner that will help carry the load and make that person your husband or wife."

My message is simple, there is a tremendous amount of heartache that comes with not having a partner in life. There is a tremendous amount of heartache that comes with having a partner and making putting them on a pedestal as "the one."
I believe that we are not designed to be alone, but we are also not designed to only have one life partner, our biology shows this.

I am lucky to have found a friend I can talk to.  A friend that is determined to find a meaningful relationship.  A friend that can understand me for what I am.
For now this friend and I are working on a supporting each other in a relationship based on respect and love. This relationship is a commitment to each other.